Letting go is always hard but once the wound is healed everything will be okay again. I don't wanna fight, hope, long for something that will not happen anymore. I swear it's hard for me to do things myself but I'm taking baby steps.
If I will not do something for my daughter's future and comfort who else will? Heaven knows the truth and so I must bear pain. I wish he will stop writing my friends, telling them how bad my family is :(
I hope he will understand that my family is already hurt and can't afford to see me wondering and hoping for nothing all this time. I have supportive family, I'm just hard headed. I settle for something less but they believe I deserve more.
It's actually ok not to get married and just let my daughter's father visit us anytime he want. Leave us few dollars, few candies and few things after. And, that's all. It's also ok if he won't call me or his daughter, anyways we skype once a week. It's ok as long as crystal gets to see him :( But in my family's eyes it is not.
We are giving crystal bad example I know. Now what is really more important ..A father's visit? or showing baby the right thing? I believe "the right thing"..Crystal should not be like me. She should not settle for someone who will give her less than what she deserves. If one day she will get pregnant out of wedlock she should not hope for her baby's father anymore.
I am a parent now and I understand my family. I am not depriving my baby from her own father's care. I just want to show crystal good example. THAT CRYSTAL IT IS NOT GOOD TO BE LIKE NANAY JENN! If one day you will fall inlove please choose a good guy who is matured enough to deal about life.
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